lottery ticket

A friend telephoned today to let me know my horoscope and that as it seemed very good on the money front that I should buy a lottery ticket. I never buy lottery tickets. But for the sake of friendship I stopped by the service station and inquired about tickets and how they worked. So I put up a dollar, that's just about how much this friendship is worth, and bought a "Joker's Wild" scratch card. I figured that if it really was my day that I would win no matter what kind of ticket I bought. It wasn't my day.

play day

We three friends drove to Yarmouth for lunch, feasted on the deck of a microbrewery and then drove home along the French Shore. We had a lovely day dodging into all the used clothing stores and strolling on the beach. We do what we do best.

welcome home

Two weeks ago today I was back home, and we had a dinner party at a dear friend's. It was a pot luck and everyone, except myself, contributed to the spread. The conversation went on for hours: religion, politics and a little sex - all the good important stuff. I am so privileged to know these wonderful people. So here are my pictures, but, as you can see, I was not the only one with a camera.

coming home

Going back to my East Coast home - not so much to the unfinished old house that I am reclaiming, but to dear friends and a future. In the spring, in just over a month, I shall migrate, with goods and cats, and begin again.
The birdhouse hangs on the out building where I was staying with a friend. Without friends would life have any meaning at all?

angel cat

I suppose in the end it is the little acts of kindness. One of my Nova Scotia organists gave me this angel cat that now sits in my Northern Ontario window. Her mother had made it. I save little tangible things that speak to me of past friendships. I shall be moving from here soon, and then there will be more friendships in my wake. This is particularly true of ministers who should not keep ties to places that they have left in order to give the new minister an open place to minister. Also, close friendships should not be made with members of the congregation. But we are human, and this is a lonely road.

making supper

This when things were tidy before I got started. A friend's mother is hospitalised with pneumonia. So I have prepared supper for her when she and her husband return after she has finished feeding her mother. Now it is dark, the table is set, the pot roast is done, and soon they shall be through the door. I had better check the potatoes.

back door

Keep those cards and letters coming! Here's my door with an assortment of cards. I suppose that soon Christmas cards will take their place and these will go into my scrapbook. Being far away from everywhere I love it when there is something in my post box. Something physical somehow conveys a presence that the virtual never does. But then the virtual keeps me in touch with the world and espcially with friends.

Hallowe'en beer

So it's getting late and the telephone rings.
Are you dressed? How about some hallowe'en beer? So Madame Zelda, the Russian fortune teller, and her son took me to the Shady Lady at the Airport Hotel for a beer. The Airport Hotel is not what it sounds. It is an older establishment on the lake where the float planes come in to dock. So here's a photo of the lady in costume There is something so fun about going out unexpectedly and sharing in some laughs.

Cynthia's cat

Cynthia gave this cat to me as a birthday present some months ago. Now it sits on a borrowed coffee table, by a borrowed sofa beside the planter, which was also a gift. But when I see the cat, I think of friends, and what could be better than friends!

card party

They gather in the church basement for sandwiches, sweets and coffee and then comes the cards. They play Crazy Eights - no score keeping, just a lot of laughter. This was the first card party of the season. It was just the thing on a wet and cold fall day.

friendship

I had returned to Nova Scotia for a month to try and make a physical closure: lawyers, property, banks and messy details left over from a broken relationship that I had thought was of God and would last though eternity. I had prayed for years for healing. This was not the outcome that I had envisaged or that I had ever wanted. I came to doubt in a God who answered prayers, constant fervent prayer. I came here alone, two hours down the road from our former home. And friends sought me out, embraced me in their love and concern. Now I can see more clearly how the dominance of my former partner had put barriers between family and friends, and without this encumbrance, I am loved and cherished. This was never the outcome that I could have foreseen.

So to the dear friends that I never really knew that I had: my gratitude, my love and our future filled with light. Your reaching out, your concern, your assistance and your showing me that I am a person, separate and alive and standing alone is restoring me to the person that I was and am being created to be.

passing friendship

Caught in the now moment of deep friendship I always think that it is eternal or at least for this life. Time has a way of shattering my illusion.
I suppose that the loveliness of friendship always has it's shadow side, and in the end we each make our choices, which either lead to life or to death. We can only be there for each other, whatever the choices we have made. But when one breaks this bound what can the other do? I was her friend for a season, and that's is all I could ever do,. It was the best gift that I could have given her.
These ramblings are, I suppose, part of the process as I try to make sense of what is really a deep sense of betrayal and the rupture of a friendship which at one time gave me life and joy.
We lived, we worked, we created together and now I am left with the debts and the recriminations which come from her near constant rage towards me. Once part of her attraction was her joyful embrace of living on the edge. Her descent into manic behaviour means that there is no longer any place for me except to pay the bills.
So here I am trying to make sense of this hurt and moving through it all to dance again.