passing friendship

Caught in the now moment of deep friendship I always think that it is eternal or at least for this life. Time has a way of shattering my illusion.
I suppose that the loveliness of friendship always has it's shadow side, and in the end we each make our choices, which either lead to life or to death. We can only be there for each other, whatever the choices we have made. But when one breaks this bound what can the other do? I was her friend for a season, and that's is all I could ever do,. It was the best gift that I could have given her.
These ramblings are, I suppose, part of the process as I try to make sense of what is really a deep sense of betrayal and the rupture of a friendship which at one time gave me life and joy.
We lived, we worked, we created together and now I am left with the debts and the recriminations which come from her near constant rage towards me. Once part of her attraction was her joyful embrace of living on the edge. Her descent into manic behaviour means that there is no longer any place for me except to pay the bills.
So here I am trying to make sense of this hurt and moving through it all to dance again.